Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize