Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
