We won't sleep together?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I believe in your delicious
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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