Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
