I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Randomize
