I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
