sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize