Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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