we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
