i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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