Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
