She is in my trunk
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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