I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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