Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
