i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize