no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
