Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize