Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
