I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
