I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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