you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
