Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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