try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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