i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize