Soap is not a condiment
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
