my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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