My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
