Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Let's paint friendship bongs
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
