if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
