is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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