Dual....:-)
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
im holly from the hills drunk
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Randomize
