I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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