i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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