Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
