Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
from now on my penis is your penis
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
