farters have to be the big spoon...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
