i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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