Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
