Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
