i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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