I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
