I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm both gender and math confused
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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