At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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