So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
