how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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