it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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