Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
pray to the hookup gods
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