I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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