look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm both gender and math confused
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
