He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
