At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
