Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
