What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize