Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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