It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I feel like abortions should bother me more
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
