I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
