I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
