I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
