We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
