'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
not ubering you a puppy
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
