Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
porn star boner night. come get it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize
