i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
