thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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